The Four Aims of Life

On Saturday Bob and I ran one of our Clear Mind, Clear Body sessions in Sandhurst, Berkshire on 'Letting Go.' Here are some ideas we offered on the yoga mat and the blank writing page from the teachings of the ancient Purusharthas which provide guidance on the four aims of life – dharma, kama, artha and moksha. Mail me if you're interested in hearing about our next events.

If things seem out of kilter, you may like to explore which of these four is extending a stronger or lesser influence on your life right now. Do you need a bit more kama right now if you’ve overdosed on dharma? Or less kama to increase the artha? Just play with them.

Dharma is about duty and ethics, having the strength to get up each day and do what needs to be done. It relates to responsibility to serve yourself and society. Some questions to ask yourself include:

What is my role in the world?
What are my obligations?
Which ones feel right?
When I am serving the highest good, what am I doing?
Am I on a path for good?
How can I best serve the world around me?
What would Martin Luther King or Mother Teresa do?

Kama is about pleasure taking in all the senses.
The desire for pleasure drives all human behaviour. To practice kama yogically means to practice being fully present with whatever you're experiencing. Some questions to ask yourself include:
What am I passionate about?
What gives me pleasure?
Am I enjoying my life? What do I care about?
What do I most desire?
Am I hooked on anything?
Are my pleasures leading me toward or away from my life's purpose?


Artha is about enjoying prosperity and wealth (without greed). This is the material comfort you need to live in the world with ease; that which supports your life's mission. Some questions to ask yourself include:

What do I see as truly valuable?
Knowing my dharma, what do I need to play my role in the world?
Where do I place value?
Do I have enough?
Are my things making me happy, or are they stealing my joy?
Am I afraid of having more?
Am I afraid of not having more? What does wealth mean to me besides money?

Moksha is about freedom and liberation, enjoying freedom from suffering and the freedom to express your own creativity. You are as free as you experience yourself to be. Some questions to ask yourself include:

What am I doing to free myself from activities and perceptions that make me unhappy?
How can I not get caught in my emotions?
What do I choose to bind myself to?
Do I feel trapped?
Can I be free from blaming myself and others?
How can I make my mind free?

Where’s the adventure?

To live life to its full involves bringing a sense of adventure into the everyday; of taking ourselves to the edge of our self-confidence. It’s the place that Joseph Campbell calls “Crossing the Threshold” on the Hero’s Journey (see chapter 3 of my book Building Self-Confidence for Dummies). From this point we can choose to move forward into the unknown or sit around allowing life to happen to us.

But you don’t need to climb thousands of feet in the Himalayas or sky-dive to have an adventure. Adventure simply takes focus and determination, qualities that we can bring to everyday projects and relationships. It begins with that simple intention to step over the invisible threshold and engage with what’s there with a sense of curiosity, letting go of our self-consciousness on the way.

Last month I ran a weekend workshop with my husband, Bob (pictured here with a couple of dophin friends!) Called ‘Clear Mind. Clear Body,’ we created a space for self-exploration that combined our respective interests in yoga and writing. We booked the date, hired a venue, sent out invitations, planned a series of activities to stretch mind and body, cooked up healthy food and loaded the car with yoga mats and writing pads. A small expedition in deepest Berkshire here in the UK.

(The next one is on 8th May, contact me if you're interested.)

As in the classic Kevin Costner film ‘Field of Dreams’ when you create the space, people come. On the way to the workshop I felt the butterflies dancing in my stomach saying: ‘Why am I doing this?’ On the way home, with a deep sense of contentment, I remembered why. Our guests had fun and left with a renewed sense of calm and focus in their busy lives. The event centred, not on our fears, but on our confidence that we could contribute something that others found valuable.

Our small Berkshire adventure into the unknown became an adventure for others to discover what they’d like their lives to be like this year. Such is the ripple effect.

At its heart, confidence is an adventurous act, a willingness to commit to an uncertain outcome with an open heart and open mind. In this sense opportunities to be adventurous present themselves to us every day. Walking a new route to the shops, trying a new food for lunch, signing up for a class you’ve never taken before, volunteering your time for a charity, introducing yourself to someone new at work or talking to a stranger in a café. One small adventure builds on the next; this is how confidence grows.

Life is uncertain, accepting it and seeing this inbuilt uncertainty as the doorway to new possibilities lies at the heart of the adventure. So often, we are the barrier that gets in our own way. I invite you to look for new small adventures in the everyday of your life. Keep a diary for a month of the small things you’ve done that take you over that threshold. Have fun and let me know how you get on.