Need space to think…time to play?

I recently worked with a business owner who was reflecting on his family holiday and said “There came a time, towards the end of the second week when I completely let go and suddenly everything was back in perspective”. He returned to work with a clear head about priorities, filled with a fire in his belly and expecting that his business partner can experience the same on his forthcoming holiday.

Not everyone has the luxury of a holiday to step back and get a fresh perspective on their business. What about the two million businesses in the UK with no employee to share the load? Yet a short session with a coach can leave you feeling able to achieve more with less time and effort. As a coach, I work with small business owners as well as corporate execs to find clarity and motivation, especially at times when taking a holiday isn’t feasible. If you could benefit from some space to think then contact me for a coaching session.

Holidays provide more than a break, they allow real playtime for us grown ups as well as the kids. Yet why should playtime we something we regularly miss out on? Here’s a thought to check the quality of your working life. ‘Am I getting enough playtime?’ When you look in your diary and identify the breaks, ask yourself: ‘Where is the real fun here?’ How much time out do you get that is not task-focused? Are you happy with what you see in your schedule? Have the hours devoted to work crept up on you or become so intense that there is no downtime?

Block your playtime in your diary and keep it sacred: just like it was at school. Start with 15 minutes a day, twice a day, every day at a time that fits your schedule.

Live Life. Love Work: Book Extract

This is a book for real people with real lives: people like you and me who actually need to earn a living and also want a great life. It came about because I dreamt of escaping to a beach house where life would be idyllic, and then work up to see that wouldn’t be so much fun. The escape plan missed the point.

What became more attractive was to live a rich and full life that included mental challenge and interesting work, the friendship of colleagues, the satisfaction of making a contribution to others’ lives. At the same time, to live this life and love work in a calm, healthy and sustainable way, having fun and spending time with those who matter.

The heart of this book explores the question: ‘How do we stay sane, healthy and optimistic without chucking in our jobs, selling up our businesses, leaving friends and family to head to the beach, the mountains or the other side of the world?’ The answers are not always simple, nor do they lie in one-off choice. Instead getting to a place of satisfaction with life is a continual process of gathering information, making decisions, choosing a direction to follow and taking action as the world around us changes.

To read the customer reviews or buy the book, visit www.kateburton.co.uk

What a fantastic summer...

...we’ve had so far and I hope this finds you well. A couple of years ago, a coaching friend invited me to consider what I wanted more of in my work and, slightly tongue in cheek, I answered that I’d love to work in amazing places – in the mountains, by the sea or outdoor spaces with great views. That’s happening more and more for me. So I feel exceptionally blessed to have come back from two weeks in Italy where part of that trip was co-leading a group retreat in the mountains of Abruzzo, part was working on my next book, and part was pure holiday. Lakes, mountains, great people and blue skies proved a compelling combination which I can recommend wholeheartedly.

Just now, I’m enjoying early morning views of the garden as I write my fifth book, ‘Coaching with NLP for Dummies’ to be published next year. Researching and writing it has brought extra benefits that I’m able to pay forward to others. I’ve found new strategies to keep focused avoiding my natural procrastination and also re-discovered coaching tools and concepts I’d forgotten all about, which re-new my work with clients.

I hope that you’ll give yourself quality time out over the summer to consider if there’s something more you’d like in your life. Do let me know if I can support you on that quest.

All good wishes

Kate Burton

An afternoon to re-focus, re-energise and relax

How do you stay healthy in mind and body? The Clear Mind, Clear Body workshops in Sandhurst, Berkshire with Kate and Bob Burton offer a friendly Saturday afternoon with like-minded people who enjoy the mix of gentle yoga stretching and breathing, creativity and coaching exercises plus guided visualisations and relaxation.

We all have times when we get a bit 'wobbly'. So our theme for this session is 'Questions of Confidence,' and will include material from Kate's best selling 'Building Self-Confidence for Dummies.'

Places are limited by space and priced at just £49.99 per workshop or £74.99 for two people. Here's what a few people have said about recent sessions:

''I loved the exercise where we looked back on 2010 and reflected on where we wanted to be...what a wonderful, positive, relaxing way to spend a Saturday afternoon.''

Fiona Grant, Nutritionist.

“I was delighted to be able to make the last one that they ran on ‘Letting Go’ - it was a fantastic way to rejuvenate the mind and body. Bob runs the yoga session while Kate facilitated the creative part ..very gentle and at the same time extremely useful.” Eleanor Yearwood, Managing Director.

Join us for the next session if you like to find ways to stay healthy – in a comfortable and relaxed setting. Each workshop brings fresh new content. Just bring yourself with comfortable and loose clothing. Mats are provided as well as refreshments.

• Gentle yoga stretching and breathing
• Creativity and coaching exercises
• Guided visualisation and relaxation

For further information, mail kate@kateburton.co.uk or click here to book now

The Four Aims of Life

On Saturday Bob and I ran one of our Clear Mind, Clear Body sessions in Sandhurst, Berkshire on 'Letting Go.' Here are some ideas we offered on the yoga mat and the blank writing page from the teachings of the ancient Purusharthas which provide guidance on the four aims of life – dharma, kama, artha and moksha. Mail me if you're interested in hearing about our next events.

If things seem out of kilter, you may like to explore which of these four is extending a stronger or lesser influence on your life right now. Do you need a bit more kama right now if you’ve overdosed on dharma? Or less kama to increase the artha? Just play with them.

Dharma is about duty and ethics, having the strength to get up each day and do what needs to be done. It relates to responsibility to serve yourself and society. Some questions to ask yourself include:

What is my role in the world?
What are my obligations?
Which ones feel right?
When I am serving the highest good, what am I doing?
Am I on a path for good?
How can I best serve the world around me?
What would Martin Luther King or Mother Teresa do?

Kama is about pleasure taking in all the senses.
The desire for pleasure drives all human behaviour. To practice kama yogically means to practice being fully present with whatever you're experiencing. Some questions to ask yourself include:
What am I passionate about?
What gives me pleasure?
Am I enjoying my life? What do I care about?
What do I most desire?
Am I hooked on anything?
Are my pleasures leading me toward or away from my life's purpose?


Artha is about enjoying prosperity and wealth (without greed). This is the material comfort you need to live in the world with ease; that which supports your life's mission. Some questions to ask yourself include:

What do I see as truly valuable?
Knowing my dharma, what do I need to play my role in the world?
Where do I place value?
Do I have enough?
Are my things making me happy, or are they stealing my joy?
Am I afraid of having more?
Am I afraid of not having more? What does wealth mean to me besides money?

Moksha is about freedom and liberation, enjoying freedom from suffering and the freedom to express your own creativity. You are as free as you experience yourself to be. Some questions to ask yourself include:

What am I doing to free myself from activities and perceptions that make me unhappy?
How can I not get caught in my emotions?
What do I choose to bind myself to?
Do I feel trapped?
Can I be free from blaming myself and others?
How can I make my mind free?

Start the week

On Monday morning I joined the commuters into town; the first early trip to London for some months. Grey faces, grey suits and an air of weariness prevailed around me - where's their energy gone? A young mother got into the train compartment, struggling with buggy and an attempt to feed her baby while standing up. I felt my indignation rise as I gave her my seat and surveyed the blanked out Blackberry men hell bent on avoiding connecting. Maybe they're in desperate need to cushion their bodies against their daily schedule, so I let them be.


Along the bank of the Thames my day felt joyful with the sense: 'Yippee, it's Monday.' I met with colleagues who've become friends, people I trust implicitly whose company I love, and the whole day felt free and spacious. This 'yippee' mindset feels so light and easy as I choose my own agenda, own my time, my space, my life. When I do what my own book suggests I Live Life. Love Work.

Where’s the adventure?

To live life to its full involves bringing a sense of adventure into the everyday; of taking ourselves to the edge of our self-confidence. It’s the place that Joseph Campbell calls “Crossing the Threshold” on the Hero’s Journey (see chapter 3 of my book Building Self-Confidence for Dummies). From this point we can choose to move forward into the unknown or sit around allowing life to happen to us.

But you don’t need to climb thousands of feet in the Himalayas or sky-dive to have an adventure. Adventure simply takes focus and determination, qualities that we can bring to everyday projects and relationships. It begins with that simple intention to step over the invisible threshold and engage with what’s there with a sense of curiosity, letting go of our self-consciousness on the way.

Last month I ran a weekend workshop with my husband, Bob (pictured here with a couple of dophin friends!) Called ‘Clear Mind. Clear Body,’ we created a space for self-exploration that combined our respective interests in yoga and writing. We booked the date, hired a venue, sent out invitations, planned a series of activities to stretch mind and body, cooked up healthy food and loaded the car with yoga mats and writing pads. A small expedition in deepest Berkshire here in the UK.

(The next one is on 8th May, contact me if you're interested.)

As in the classic Kevin Costner film ‘Field of Dreams’ when you create the space, people come. On the way to the workshop I felt the butterflies dancing in my stomach saying: ‘Why am I doing this?’ On the way home, with a deep sense of contentment, I remembered why. Our guests had fun and left with a renewed sense of calm and focus in their busy lives. The event centred, not on our fears, but on our confidence that we could contribute something that others found valuable.

Our small Berkshire adventure into the unknown became an adventure for others to discover what they’d like their lives to be like this year. Such is the ripple effect.

At its heart, confidence is an adventurous act, a willingness to commit to an uncertain outcome with an open heart and open mind. In this sense opportunities to be adventurous present themselves to us every day. Walking a new route to the shops, trying a new food for lunch, signing up for a class you’ve never taken before, volunteering your time for a charity, introducing yourself to someone new at work or talking to a stranger in a café. One small adventure builds on the next; this is how confidence grows.

Life is uncertain, accepting it and seeing this inbuilt uncertainty as the doorway to new possibilities lies at the heart of the adventure. So often, we are the barrier that gets in our own way. I invite you to look for new small adventures in the everyday of your life. Keep a diary for a month of the small things you’ve done that take you over that threshold. Have fun and let me know how you get on.

Thaw begins on 1st March

Ruth's diary is the new novel by my friend Fiona Robyn, called Thaw. She has decided to blog the novel in its entirety over the next few months, so you can read it for free.

Ruth's first entry is below, and you can continue reading tomorrow here.

These hands are ninety-three years old. They belong to Charlotte Marie Bradley Miller. She was so frail that her grand-daughter had to carry her onto the set to take this photo. It’s a close-up. Her emaciated arms emerge from the top corners of the photo and the background is black, maybe velvet, as if we’re being protected from seeing the strings. One wrist rests on the other, and her fingers hang loose, close together, a pair of folded wings. And you can see her insides.The bones of her knuckles bulge out of the skin, which sags like plastic that has melted in the sun and is dripping off her, wrinkling and folding. Her veins look as though they’re stuck to the outside of her hands. They’re a colour that’s difficult to describe: blue, but also silver, green; her blood runs through them, close to the surface. The book says she died shortly after they took this picture. Did she even get to see it? Maybe it was the last beautiful thing she left in the world.I’m trying to decide whether or not I want to carry on living. I’m giving myself three months of this journal to decide. You might think that sounds melodramatic, but I don’t think I’m alone in wondering whether it’s all worth it. I’ve seen the look in people’s eyes. Stiff suits travelling to work, morning after morning, on the cramped and humid tube. Tarted-up girls and gangs of boys reeking of aftershave, reeling on the pavements on a Friday night, trying to mop up the dreariness of their week with one desperate, fake-happy night. I’ve heard the weary grief in my dad’s voice.So where do I start with all this? What do you want to know about me? I’m Ruth White, thirty-two years old, going on a hundred. I live alone with no boyfriend and no cat in a tiny flat in central London. In fact, I had a non-relationship with a man at work, Dan, for seven years. I’m sitting in my bedroom-cum-living room right now, looking up every so often at the thin rain slanting across a flat grey sky. I work in a city hospital lab as a microbiologist. My dad is an accountant and lives with his sensible second wife Julie, in a sensible second home. Mother finished dying when I was fourteen, three years after her first diagnosis. What else? What else is there?Charlotte Marie Bradley Miller. I looked at her hands for twelve minutes. It was odd describing what I was seeing in words. Usually the picture just sits inside my head and I swish it around like tasting wine. I have huge books all over my flat — books you have to take in both hands to lift. I’ve had the photo habit for years. Mother bought me my first book, black and white landscapes by Ansel Adams. When she got really ill, I used to take it to bed with me and look at it for hours, concentrating on the huge trees, the still water, the never-ending skies. I suppose it helped me think about something other than what was happening. I learned to focus on one photo at a time rather than flicking from scene to scene in search of something to hold me. If I concentrate, then everything stands still. Although I use them to escape the world, I also think they bring me closer to it. I’ve still got that book. When I take it out, I handle the pages as though they might flake into dust.Mother used to write a journal. When I was small, I sat by her bed in the early mornings on a hard chair and looked at her face as her pen spat out sentences in short bursts. I imagined what she might have been writing about — princesses dressed in star-patterned silk, talking horses, adventures with pirates. More likely she was writing about what she was going to cook for dinner and how irritating Dad’s snoring was.I’ve always wanted to write my own journal, and this is my chance. Maybe my last chance. The idea is that every night for three months, I’ll take one of these heavy sheets of pure white paper, rough under my fingertips, and fill it up on both sides. If my suicide note is nearly a hundred pages long, then no-one can accuse me of not thinking it through. No-one can say, ‘It makes no sense; she was a polite, cheerful girl, had everything to live for,’ before adding that I did keep myself to myself. It’ll all be here. I’m using a silver fountain pen with purple ink. A bit flamboyant for me, I know. I need these idiosyncratic rituals; they hold things in place. Like the way I make tea, squeezing the tea-bag three times, the exact amount of milk, seven stirs. My writing is small and neat; I’m striping the paper. I’m near the bottom of the page now. Only ninety-one more days to go before I’m allowed to make my decision. That’s it for today. It’s begun.

Continue reading here.

Ten top tips to close down creativity

Many of the people I work with in organisations are under immense pressure to perform miracles. Too much to be done in the allocated time. Unrealistic understanding of the real work and time involved. Expectations that they should be innovative, inspirational, creative, confident and competent - all of the time.

With the pressure so creativity declines. That's why the Saturday afternoon workshops; Clear Mind. Clear Body as well as the writers' events are so popular.

Stop for a moment to consider how your creativity suffers. Here are some of the ways I get in my own way.

1. Get too tired. Know that feeling of working late when you should be relaxing and winding down?



2. Eat sugar. Drink caffeine. How did I get tempted by coffee and a biscuit instead of water and fruit?
   


3. Take on extra work. That little word 'no' went missing.
   


4. Spend time with energy vampires. Again, I could have said 'no' to that invitation that didn't appeal.



5. Beat myself up for what I haven't achieved. Why not see the successes?
   


6. Compare myself with others. When I know their world is so different to mine.
   


7. Worry. About stuff that won't matter later.
   


8. Forget to go out and play. How dull is that?
   


9. Feel there's no time, so don't get started. Even ten minutes is worth getting started for.
   


10. Cut out the clear thinking time. When I know how these moments of space are so important.

I also know how unblock my creativity by turning these situations on their heads. Here's how:

First - Write down how you get in the way of your creativity as I've just done here.

Second - Take each statement in turn, flip it upside down and find the opposite situation.

Third - Identify one thing to do differently.

As an example, my number one of 'Get too tired' flips to 'Get too much rest'. OK, that's unlikely to happen. Yet, one thing I can do differently is to take a lie in or afternoon nap when I feel the tiredness builds. It's really that simple. And it's amazing just how it can feel wonderfully indulgent resting up a bit and how much faster the creativity flows afterwards.

The Safe Haven

When my house was built back in the 1920s, it was the fashion to give houses of this kind names like 'Dunroamin' or in our case 'Sunnyhaven.' It was built in an area of woodland where folks came out of London for weekend retreats.

Last week on Saturday, a group of would be book writers came out of town to join the first of this year's Kick-Start writers' workshops. It's a friendly format and a retreat from business life at the weekend. Time to let go of logic and allow the creativity to emerge on the page. When we make the writing fun, it flows and we're surprised at what happens.

One writer sent a thank you email that evening that she had been surprised to write the story she's never written before. 'Thank you for opening your home and providing the sanctuary.'

In my new book, Live Life. Love Work, I write about my belief that we all need a safe place to come home to. How lucky I am to be able to provide that safe space for others, and nurture my own creativity at teh same time. By the Sunday morning after each workshop, I'm buzzing with ideas to drop onto the page from this 'Sunnyhaven.'

Mariangela’s Speedy Apple Cake

How is it that Mariangela’s Speedy Apple Cake is such a firm favourite with people who come to my writing workshops and the 'Clear Mind. Clear Body' workshop attendees? Maybe taking time out makes us spoil ourselves. Here's how to make it. The recipe comes from our Italian friend, Mariangela pictured here with hands in pizza dough. She lovingly cooks amazing food for guests at the wonderful Casa Giumentina in Abruzzo where we are holding a small retreat in July. I'll bring back more recipes...or you may like to join us. Let me know. See also the Luscious Lemon Cake post for another fool proof Saturday afternoon recipe.

4 large apples

200 g wholemeal flour
100 g cane sugar
3 tbsp sultanas
1 tbsp pine nuts or crushed walnuts
1/2 cup olive or sunflower oil
1 small tub plain yoghurt
1 egg
Pinch cinnamon
1 lemon + its grated rind
1 sachet (15 g) baking powder

Slice the apple finely, and sprinkle lemon juice on it.
Mix all the other ingredients, adding the baking powder last.
When the texture is creamy, add the apples.
Bake for about 35 minutes at 180 C.

Pretty simple! Let me know how you get on...

The Mexican Fisherman's Tale

A few people at the Clear Mind. Clear Body workshop on Saturday asked me for a copy of the Mexican fisherman's tale. Here it is as a reminder of getting clear on what you really want.

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, "only a little while."

The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish?

The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. The American then asked, "but what do you do with the rest of your time?"

The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life."

The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?"

To which the American replied, "15-20 years."

"But what then?"

The American laughed and said that's the best part. "When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions."

"Millions.. Then what?"

The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."